Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day-

This Mother's Day went better than the last five. I am forever grateful for my little man, V. We went to my favorite park and just enjoyed the scenery. V got to see the geese and ducks up close, and man did that confuse him! Haha. He was very serious about everything, but interested. It was a wonderful afternoon. Really.

But, my thoughts kept wandering. I never celebrated Mother's Day before now; not because I didn't think our other children should count, but because the date served as a painful reminder of everything I'd lost. I was pregnant four times, whether anyone else wants to admit it or not. I have four children, and only one here with me.

People kept wishing me a "Happy first Mother's Day," it made me consider, once again, what makes a mother. Have I been a mother all this time? I like to think so. Everyone in my life acts like only V counts though, and it conflicts me. How I mother them is unarguably different: for V I feed him, carry him, change his diapers, tend to his every need. For the others, my body failed them and I was helpless to prevent their loss. I carry them in my heart, I remember them, love them, but I can never do for them that which I do for V. I will never know them like I've grown to know my V. It's different, but I love them all. I just think that should count for something.


The Steadfast Warrior said...

Mother's Day has been odd for me since I've more or less missed it for one reason or another for the last two years. I'm still not sure how I feel about that fact.

But I'm very glad you had a lovely day! Such a lovely picture. :)

Rebecca said...

I'm glad that you had V with you to hold this year and enjoy. I too hold in my heart all the ones I've lost.

Groves said...

You're absolutely right. It counts.

Cathy in Missouri

Glass Case of Emotion said...

It counts! It's a bittersweet day for sure.

blueeyedtawni said...

even though its late.. a bitter sweet day to hold with lots of hugs