36 weeks

So we're 36 weeks now, which is great. Physically I don't feel so great though... I'm just having such a hard time right now. This pregnancy has been so different than when I was just carrying V. We have 18 more days until our c-section and I just don't know how I'm going to make it. I hurt everywhere, I'm starting to swell up, I'm so crampy every day, my belly burns/aches all the time, and my new heartburn med isn't working very well, so I wake up feeling like I'm going to throw up too. I can barely walk around my house, let alone anywhere else. The hour car ride to my OB's office is awful. It's bad. It's gotten really bad this past week. I do my best not to complain, I've definitely not lost sight that the babies are doing well and that's what's most important... but I feel like I'm falling apart, and I end up crying most nights from the pain.

My OB appointment on Tuesday went well. No signs of preeclampsia, babies both looked good. My cervix is still closed, so no progress there. My OB offered to see if there were any openings at the hospital for 38 weeks rather than my scheduled 38 weeks and 4 days. Of course, there aren't. The nurse said that if something opens up they'll let me know though. I'm not going to count on that, but it was a nice thought.

I'm anxious about waiting until 38 weeks and 4 days for a lot of reasons- with twins the placentas do start to break down earlier (usually starting at 38 weeks), and the whole point of a scheduled c-section is to avoid going into labor on my own, not just because of the risk of uterine rupture but also because I am on Lovenox and the increased bleeding risks and possibility of requiring general anesthesia. But I just have to hope for the best here, and try to tough it out. I mean, things should be fine. I hope?

I just get really anxious as we near the end. I did the same thing with V, and a lot of that has to do with my sister's loss. My sister is getting anxious too, she was really panicking about them not doing more growth scans. I told her it's normal, but you know that doesn't help. It's just a hard place to be in. You know that they're alive today, but that tomorrow isn't guaranteed. I can't trust my body. It's hard to explain to most people, but I feel like they're honestly safer on the outside than in after a certain point. I felt that same way with V. I'm on the Lovenox though, and we're doing everything we can... it's just hard trying to have faith that everything will be alright... because it isn't always alright.

Okay, it's late and I'm rambling. I'm trying to soak on the heating pad to relieve some of the back pain and crampiness before bed, and I feel like I'm just going to pass out so I should probably just get some rest. Tomorrow I'll be another day closer at least.

Our last MFM scan-

We are 35 weeks and had our last growth/fluid scan yesterday. Both babies looked good, with nice heart beats. There was some concern over Baby A's fluid, since the tech only got a single pocket and it was big, but the Perintologist took another look and checked the blood flow to the placenta too, and said he thought everything looked fine. A was estimated at 5lbs and 10oz (57th percentile), while B was estimated at 6lbs and 4oz (79th percentile). In the last week and a half B has switched from head to the left transverse, to head to right transverse, and is now head down on the left. A has been contentedly breech on the right for months, with no signs of moving. Since we're having a recurrent c-section that's not a worry, but the positions do make things awkward for me. I'm still amazed that B feels comfortable enough to move positions as much as it does. That one is an acrobat.

I see my OB Tuesday and we will begin cervical checks then, since we'll be 36 weeks on Thursday. 23 days or less left now... I feel very done. Just exhausted, heavy, and I've been getting crampy off and on for the past week. I haven't been having any contractions really, although I haven't been drinking nearly enough water (I really need to get on that). I've been feeling a lot of pressure/discomfort off and on since B flipped head down too. I still have a cough and some congestion, but I'm really a lot better... I just wish I was 100% better.

I have a lot more done for the babies now. We got the stuff down from the attic, the bassinet cover/fabric is drying on the clothes line right now, clothes are washed and put away for the most part, car seats are out/ready, bottles are down, breast pump out... I know there are still some little things here or there we need to get done, but we're pretty much set to go whenever they get here.

Considerations

My OB appointment went well, she decided to wait until next week to do the internal check and swab. Baby B has it's head to my right now, rather than left, but is still transverse up top. Baby A is still breech on the right. We only have 3 more OB appointments before our scheduled c-section, assuming we make it that far.

I did discuss some concerns with her and went over the risks with staying on Lovenox. Lovenox is great if you need it, really it is, but it doesn't come without risk. One of the obvious risks is hemorrhaging. One of the less known is the risk of becoming paralyzed from a spinal hematoma in the event that you need to deliver with a spinal/epidural before it's out of your system.

Basically that won't be an issue if we make it to our scheduled c-section. I would just skip my dose the night before, and my system should be clear for a spinal. The issue comes from spontaneous labor, which is a real possibility since I'm carrying twins and my c-section isn't scheduled until 38w4d (average delivery for twins is 35w, most happen before 37w). If I go into labor spontaneously the hospital will have to look at when my last dose was; Lovenox can last up to 24 hours in the system but it might be safe after 12 hours for me since my dose is low/preventative. They'll then have to do blood work to check if it's safe or not. If it's been long enough, or blood work shows it's safe, then I can have the spinal and that's alright. If it's NOT though, I will need to have my c-section under general anesthesia. Which means that neither A or myself will be "present" or "awake" for the birth of the twins.

Last time we switched to Heparin later on, since it can be reversed and doesn't last as long in the system. Lovenox is once a day, while Heparin is twice a day (since Lovenox lasts 24hrs, Heparin lasts 12hrs). This time my OB and MFM would rather keep me on Lovenox. Lovenox is safer in pregnancy since it's low molecular weight, so it stays more stable in the body. Heparin is safer for delivery though. My OB did say they could switch me to Heparin if I wanted, but we opted to just stay on the Lovenox since it's safer overall (not to mention I am running out of non-bruised places to inject as it is). I just have concerns about it and worry about delivery. I'm trying to wrap my head around the possibility of having to deliver under general anesthesia- I know that there's a chance that may not happen, but I'd rather mentally prepare just in case. It's really hit or miss how things will go down.

Coasting-

Well, we're 34 weeks today. My OB said that at this point, should I spontaneously go into labor on my own, they wouldn't stop things. So the babies could be here anytime within the next 32 days. I'm down to weekly appointments, and they want to begin internal cervical checks at my next appointment. Next week is my last growth scan with MFM. We are chugging right along. Here's belly shots from weeks 4, 14, 24, to 34... it's a little crazy.

 

We're still sick. V has an ear infection on top of his cold, I'm still hacking a lot and on antibiotics, and A just came down with it a couple days ago. I think I'm on the mend, I have gotten a little more sleep anyway. V is doing much better at least, he's hardly coughing in his sleep at all anymore. The other night I was getting up every hour between my coughing, needing to blow my nose, use the bathroom, or V waking up coughing/crying. Sleep is important, mm'kay? I'm really hoping we're all better soon, and that we DON'T (prettyprettyplease) CATCH ANYTHING ELSE!

All our preparation for the babies was put on hold because no one was feeling well, plus we didn't want to get everything all germy either. We had been having a family member come over to help with the painting, but had to postpone that so they wouldn't catch this cough. I'm feeling a bit better now though, so hopefully I can get caught back up on the housework a little today and we can resume where we left off very soon. While I know they don't need a lot right away, and even if they came today they'd be in the hospital for a bit, I am getting a little antsy about everything that still needs done. We haven't washed any of the clothes from the attic, cleaned the bassinets, opened the car seats to look them over, gotten the breast pump out and re-cleaned, bottles down (just in case), so on and so on... I mean we have everything together and would make do as we needed things, I'd just rather have it done and over with ahead of time.

33 weeks-

Sorry I've been a little MIA. Not much new to report. I was almost over my cold, now my throat hurts and my cough is worse... so either my cold never left, or I caught something else. V had a fever yesterday and wasn't feeling well, but I couldn't see anything wrong with him- no congestion, he wasn't complaining about any specific body parts, so I don't know what's going on with him. Or if I've caught something from him. Again.

We are a little over 33 weeks now. I am exhausted, eating is difficult, I get a lot of round ligament pain now (probably because I'm measuring around 43 weeks), and my pelvic girdle pain (PGP) is bad. I've been dealing with the contractions off/on since our trip to L&D, but they mostly stay away so long as I drink a gallon of water a day. Which is really really hard. I also got morning sickness back, or something, because sometimes I get all day nausea and just can't stand the thought of drinking/eating. I'm running out of non-bruised areas to inject my Lovenox.

I can no longer attempt trips to the store, unless I want to ask for their wheelchair. I tried a week or two ago and very much regretted it- I had horrible back pain, my pelvis popped out weird from the PGP so walking to the van was awful, and of course that short trip triggered contractions. I felt rough for days after. Never again.

Still, the babies are growing good and that's what matters the most. It's just hard sometimes. I keep reminding myself that we have 38 days or less to go now, and every extra day I keep them in is awesome. I know that's what matters most, and this is temporary. I love watching them squirm and fight at night. It's a reminder that they're alive, and that this is what I'm working towards. These two are worth every ache and pain, and I feel extremely fortunate that they're still with us. Right now I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

31 weeks + 1 day

First of all, I'm still sick. I'm feeling much better, but still have a runny nose and cough. I also get out of breath easy (which would happen anyway) and break out in a sweat from doing little tasks. I think my cold is on the way out though. I managed to sleep laying down last night, rather than sitting up, so that is a huge improvement. I kept waking up because my throat got so dry I couldn't hardly breath but I'm definitely on the mend. I expect by Thursday I should be all (or almost all) better, it generally takes me 2 weeks to get completely over a cold.

My two appointments this week went well. There were no issues with my OB, urine and BP are fine. They checked my cervical length again and it's sitting at 4.6cm so that is fantastic. MFM today and the babies were measuring right on track, A was estimated 3lbs and 15oz while B was estimated 3lbs and 12oz. A has a bigger belly and smaller head, while both are measuring long on their leg bones, so it sort of evened out. The measurements can be off 4oz or so, so obviously just an estimate, but they're sizes are great regardless. Baby B was head up on Tuesday, but had flipped to transverse sometime between then and today. Go figure. That one just can not hold still. So it's way up in my ribs again, which isn't helping my breathing issues I'm sure. A is still head up, but now rather than having B's face in it's face, it has B's butt. Siblings... It's very smooshed in there. They both had the hiccups, and were practice breathing, which is all great. The tech unexpectedly turned on the 3D scan for us and we actually got some partial face shots, so I was really excited about that! We hardly ever see Baby A's face, and have only one profile from around 14 weeks. So that was very neat!

I go back to my OB's office two weeks from last time, although my OB is out on vacation so I'll see another OB in there. Still, it shouldn't be a big deal. I see MFM in another 4 weeks at 35wks, assuming the babies are still baking, and that'll be our last scan with them. It's really hard to wrap my head around how close we're getting now! We're making progress on the bedroom repairs/switches, and should be ready to move furniture soon. After that we can get the baby stuff down from the attic, and start getting everything ready.

Here's a photo of each baby:

Updates and sick again-

My OB follow up went well, my cervix was still over 4cm so that was great. Both babies were squirming and had good heart rates too. My doctor prescribed me some medication for my killer heartburn and it's been amazing. I really needed it. I was starting to feel more human after my scare, no more contractions, I even managed to go to the store (not on my own mind you). We did our hospital tour, I used a wheel chair to be safe, and that all went well.

And then I got sick. Not the stomach flu again, thank goodness, but a cold. It's pretty nasty. I was feeling pretty bad yesterday, I was crying because I felt so awful and on top of the previous illness... but I'm a lot worse today. I'm taking meds to help with the congestion but I am so out of it. I was up every hour, on the dot, last night just to cough up phlegm and blow my nose. I am not functioning well today. I am staying hydrated though, and taking it super easy... not that I have any choice there, going from room to room hurts my lungs and winds me. I've been using my inhaler a lot, but with my decreased lung capacity (due to the twins) and this new bug, taking a deep breath physically hurts. So using my inhaler hurts, but not using it hurts more soooo....

In summary: this past month I have had two bouts of stomach flu, spent 12 hours in L&D for contractions from dehydration, and now this cold. I am not functioning so well these days.

I did just get an important call though: my c-section has been scheduled! Babies will be here no later than June 30th. Obviously they could still come sooner, but at least we have a finish line ahead of us now. Something solid to count down to. I needed that today.