tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post1013883849480812821..comments2023-08-08T10:13:12.251-04:00Comments on An Unwanted Path: You say I FetishizeAnotherDreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11487881766884178761noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-86458678394795860092009-01-25T22:38:00.000-05:002009-01-25T22:38:00.000-05:00What a beautiful, truthful post. It puts into wor...What a beautiful, truthful post. It puts into words so many feelings I have experienced myself. Thank you so much for sharing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-46879113594088090442009-01-24T14:28:00.000-05:002009-01-24T14:28:00.000-05:00What an honest, beautiful post.After 4 losses, the...What an honest, beautiful post.<BR/><BR/>After 4 losses, there are many people I wish could/would read this. Then maybe they would understand.<BR/><BR/>Thank you.Photogrlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13709453130822429881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-65161045325625201322009-01-24T11:00:00.000-05:002009-01-24T11:00:00.000-05:00Thank you for this beautiful post. We just lost ou...Thank you for this beautiful post. We just lost our baby girl a week and a half ago at 10 weeks after seeing her heartbeat twice on US. We have been TTC for four years now and we don't know if we will ever have another child. But I think what I wish people outside of the ALI community could understand is where you said, "No, it's not that I haven't met him; it's that you haven't met him yet." We already loved our little girl and we will cherish the short time we had with her forever.Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02322290663156695892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-15605576407870500442009-01-24T01:27:00.000-05:002009-01-24T01:27:00.000-05:00Absolutely. And I too have felt like this is what ...Absolutely. And I too have felt like this is what people were thinking or saying behind my back, afraid to bring it up but dropping little hints that maybe I was taking all of this a bit too hard, thinking about it too much, spending too much of my time and writing dwelling on it.<BR/><BR/>And the truth is, I want to talk about it and write about it because these stories and thoughts of loss are the only memories I have of the three babies I lost. I can't ignore my children, can't pretend they were never here.<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for sharing. This post is beautiful, heart-aching but beautiful.Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08589450319640171616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-57462214711004171612009-01-23T21:43:00.000-05:002009-01-23T21:43:00.000-05:00Hi. I got here through a link on kirtsy. That is a...Hi. I got here through a link on kirtsy. That is a truly moving, meaningful post. I have honestly wondered why a miscarriage would be so hard to deal with. Especially after I had a baby boy who had a stroke at birth (he survived, and is doing miraculously well). Once you've gone through the grief of such a mind-blogging trauma, something you could have not dreamed up in your worst nightmare, sometimes you think that nothing else can be as painful. But reading your post made me feel so un-empathetic for ever thinking that. Suddenly, I understood completely what a woman who's suffered a miscarriage. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope this blog has been as cathartic for you as mine has been for me.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-6451922914905733692009-01-23T21:42:00.000-05:002009-01-23T21:42:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ellen Seidmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433429847255621203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-49452479025389266442009-01-23T20:48:00.000-05:002009-01-23T20:48:00.000-05:00I so agree with luna. I wish everyone would read t...I so agree with luna. I wish everyone would read this post. <BR/><BR/>Even when babies are born, then lost, there is still a disconnect. There are still people that cannot (how can they?) visualize or imagine the loss that we feel. Somehow the children are less real. Somehow you love them less. And you know all too well that's just not true. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for putting this into words.mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07830332489753742950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-15946370546699572992009-01-23T19:12:00.000-05:002009-01-23T19:12:00.000-05:00I can't tell you how much this post spoke to me. I...I can't tell you how much this post spoke to me. I have not experienced such loss and have wondered about some of the things you so beautifully address and acknowledge. This was poetic. Beautiful.Guera!https://www.blogger.com/profile/12616928404421960462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-77515940478385067712009-01-23T17:00:00.000-05:002009-01-23T17:00:00.000-05:00this is such a perfectly gorgeous post. I wish th...this is such a perfectly gorgeous post. I wish the whole world could read it. seriously, it's just perfect. thank you for sharing this.lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-82715839479798959492009-01-23T13:56:00.000-05:002009-01-23T13:56:00.000-05:00What an incredibly beautiful post. I am so sorry ...What an incredibly beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10791317184998122691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-33891907802547000762009-01-23T13:38:00.000-05:002009-01-23T13:38:00.000-05:00(Got here from Mel's... oops, I mean Lollipop's)Wh...(Got here from Mel's... oops, I mean Lollipop's)<BR/><BR/>What a beautiful, heartbreaking post. Not only do I NOT think it's fetishizing, I admire your willingness to put a real name, a real <I>knowing</I> on the little person you lost.<BR/><BR/>I recently found out I was miscarrying at six weeks, and am waiting out the post-mc cycle to start again. Right now, I'm chanting the "It's just proof that you will get and stay pregnant next time" mantra to myself, as though it's a temporary patch that soothes some of the grief I feel.<BR/><BR/>You've done an admirable job of facing your grief, truly mourning your Sebastian. A much healthier (and more honest) way to mark your loss.<BR/><BR/>I wish you the best as you go forward, and am so so sorry that you lost your boy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-67083750737708950962009-01-23T12:21:00.000-05:002009-01-23T12:21:00.000-05:00I came over through Mel's Friday Blog Roundup. Thi...I came over through Mel's Friday Blog Roundup. This is such a beautiful and true post, and I wanted to thank you for writing it. <BR/><BR/>Almost five years ago my first and only pregnancy ended at eight weeks (after I'd seen a heartbeat three times) and I've never ceased mourning that could-have-been child. She (I've always felt she was a girl) will always be a part of my life, although I realize that most other people will not understand how or why. <BR/><BR/>As others have said above, no one has any business telling you how you should or shouldn't feel about something so important. It's not fetizhizing, it's genuine grief, and I'm so sorry that you find yourself here on this crappy path.<BR/><BR/>Love and empathy to you,<BR/>ZeeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-33239837218429973932009-01-23T11:56:00.000-05:002009-01-23T11:56:00.000-05:00This is precisely what the world at large doesn't ...This is <I>precisely</I> what the world at large doesn't get about miscarriages and mourning our babies. Because, well, they were/are babies. We wanted them,created them. Sometimes we got to see their hbs, see their tiny arms and legs and then it all gets taken away so quickly, so cruely. I didn't just lose a baby - I lost a whole lifetime of loving, learning about a unique individual - watching them grow, making those memories - just in potential alone, the loss was astounding.<BR/><BR/>Very insightful and well-worded post, thank you for sharing your thoughts.JuliaShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10668995954240697998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-34788304259616732142009-01-23T10:36:00.000-05:002009-01-23T10:36:00.000-05:00Perfectly beautiful post - thank you for writing t...Perfectly beautiful post - thank you for writing this.annacyclopediahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461037288546901657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-35241627242618177922009-01-23T09:08:00.000-05:002009-01-23T09:08:00.000-05:00A beautiful post. And so, so true. ♥A beautiful post. And so, so true. ♥Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17157239516168591352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-2730099489958820942009-01-23T08:51:00.000-05:002009-01-23T08:51:00.000-05:00Wonderfully beautiful post. I will think of misca...Wonderfully beautiful post. I will think of miscarriage differently now. Thank you.Delennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12567889031642608101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-58514513836079455762009-01-23T08:48:00.000-05:002009-01-23T08:48:00.000-05:00Amazing, haunting, thank you. I miscarried the onl...Amazing, haunting, thank you. <BR/><BR/>I miscarried the only pregnancy I have ever had nearly three years ago. I loved him, love him.<BR/><BR/>I remember others, even my husband, ho told me, you'll get pregnant again. <BR/><BR/>I didn't want to be pregnant again, I wanted the baby I was losing, had lost. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for your words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-21092513218207180702009-01-21T22:24:00.000-05:002009-01-21T22:24:00.000-05:00I very much feel this way about the baby I miscarr...I very much feel this way about the baby I miscarried last summer. I too have met him/her many times, in my dreams. Don't ever let anyone minimize you're bond to this little being just because of misunderstanding and ignorance. You're forever tied to him.Shelbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06085283320884411888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-33638001871652111282009-01-19T18:27:00.000-05:002009-01-19T18:27:00.000-05:00I came here for the book tour, but your post isn't...I came here for the book tour, but your post isn't ready yet. Anyway, I am so glad I got to see this post, because I feel the same way.<BR/><BR/>I can tell my story is different from yours, but sometimes I swear I can see in my friends' eyes the question, "why is she still grieving?"Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09708675281321049193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-19400385738127531832009-01-19T17:33:00.000-05:002009-01-19T17:33:00.000-05:00Such a beautiful post. I want more people to read ...Such a beautiful post. I want more people to read it.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-8390975307307101542009-01-19T12:58:00.000-05:002009-01-19T12:58:00.000-05:00This is a gorgeous post. So true. So very true."Th...This is a gorgeous post. So true. So very true.<BR/><BR/>"The quiet place where you miss, but smile at the same time. I will not give that up." Me Either.Carahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08878937591945134056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-20541478451722330342009-01-18T01:14:00.000-05:002009-01-18T01:14:00.000-05:00hun you have done nothing wrong. everything you fe...hun you have done nothing wrong. everything you feel is right. And very real. I think those who are lucky enought to have never gone threw what we have gone threw will never understand.<BR/><BR/>You have to live it. To understand it and without understanding they should just mind their own business.<BR/><BR/>We held our little girl in our arms she was real....<BR/><BR/>Hun you grieve the way you need to grieve, but remember that your baby will give you the strength to let him go when you are ready not a moment before.<BR/><BR/>big hugs hun..Jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03670826813817602482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-16866548372945288802009-01-17T21:52:00.000-05:002009-01-17T21:52:00.000-05:00You know that I understand how you feel. It is so ...You know that I understand how you feel. It is so hard to make people understand what the loss of a child, any child in any circumstance, does to a person. Miscarriage can be even harder because others don't have the tangible results to see and say, "I'm so sorry you lost your child. I can't imagine how hard it is for you". Many take a long time to get there, some never do. I think that this is the beauty of the ALI community. We get it.<BR/><BR/>Your feelings are yours and they are no one elses. I won't tell you to ignore the hurtful comments because I too have felt the sting. <BR/><BR/>What a day, eh? HUGS darlin'. I'm here for you and want to thank you for being there for me. Your comments are always welcome and wanted.The Steadfast Warriorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07974289349468760667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-54179950908112364532009-01-17T16:35:00.000-05:002009-01-17T16:35:00.000-05:00I know exactly what you are sayig. I have loved an...I know exactly what you are sayig. I have loved and do love my 4 angels as if they were here a whole lifetime. It is possible I know because I feel it too. Your feelings are yours and please do not let anyone EVER tell you how you should feel about your baby and your profound loss. Sending you lots of ((HUGS))Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03661220372372737455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2145084082738588532.post-77678881620406096202009-01-17T01:20:00.000-05:002009-01-17T01:20:00.000-05:00I've had 3 miscarriages and so have never had ...I've had 3 miscarriages and so have never had the chance to "meet" any of the angels that I and DH created but I've loved them all unconditionally none the less.<BR/><BR/>I actually believe grieving for a child you never got to "meet" is harder than on you did, you have no physical memories to recall, how they felt, smelt etc<BR/><BR/>Grief is a very personal thing and NO ONE has the right to tell you when you should or shouldn't be over grieving for a loved one, especially a baby...<BR/><BR/>L&L<BR/><BR/>xxxx~*~Bodhi~*~https://www.blogger.com/profile/05652637669896488666noreply@blogger.com